diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
index 83684fb..979286d 100644
--- a/README.md
+++ b/README.md
@@ -7,8 +7,8 @@ services:
 - stalwart (mail.extremist.software)
 - searxng (search.extremist.software)
 - synapse (matrix.extremist.software)
-- grafana/prometheus (status.extremist.software)
-- uptime-kuma (uptime.extremist.software)
+- grafana/prometheus/blackbox exporter (status.extremist.software)
+- uptime redirect to status.extremist.software (uptime.extremist.software)
 - ntfy (ntfy.extremist.software)
 - mymx (mymx.extremist.software)
 - caddy (reverse proxy + rate limiting)
diff --git a/configuration.nix b/configuration.nix
index 9a74c91..b957a5e 100644
--- a/configuration.nix
+++ b/configuration.nix
@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@
     ./modules/matrix.nix
     ./modules/monitoring.nix
     ./modules/ntfy.nix
-    ./modules/uptime-kuma.nix
+    ./modules/blackbox-exporter.nix
     ./modules/noisebell.nix
     ./modules/noisepics.nix
   ];
diff --git a/modules/blackbox-exporter.nix b/modules/blackbox-exporter.nix
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e1b8017
--- /dev/null
+++ b/modules/blackbox-exporter.nix
@@ -0,0 +1,228 @@
+{
+  config,
+  lib,
+  pkgs,
+  ...
+}:
+
+let
+  blackboxConfig = pkgs.writeText "blackbox.yml" ''
+    modules:
+      http_2xx:
+        prober: http
+        timeout: 5s
+        http:
+          preferred_ip_protocol: ip4
+      tcp_connect:
+        prober: tcp
+        timeout: 5s
+        tcp:
+          preferred_ip_protocol: ip4
+      icmp:
+        prober: icmp
+        timeout: 5s
+        icmp:
+          preferred_ip_protocol: ip4
+  '';
+
+  blackboxAddress = "127.0.0.1:${toString config.services.prometheus.exporters.blackbox.port}";
+
+  mkBlackboxJob = name: module: interval: monitors: {
+    job_name = name;
+    scrape_interval = interval;
+    metrics_path = "/probe";
+    params.module = [ module ];
+    static_configs = map (
+      { name, target }:
+      {
+        targets = [ target ];
+        labels.monitor = name;
+      }
+    ) monitors;
+    relabel_configs = [
+      {
+        source_labels = [ "__address__" ];
+        target_label = "__param_target";
+      }
+      {
+        source_labels = [ "__param_target" ];
+        target_label = "instance";
+      }
+      {
+        target_label = "__address__";
+        replacement = blackboxAddress;
+      }
+    ];
+  };
+
+  http60Monitors = [
+    {
+      name = "Website (Apex)";
+      target = "https://extremist.software";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Extremist Software Forgejo";
+      target = "https://git.extremist.software";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Stalwart Admin";
+      target = "https://mail.extremist.software";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "SearxNG";
+      target = "https://search.extremist.software";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Grafana";
+      target = "https://status.extremist.software";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "ntfy";
+      target = "https://ntfy.extremist.software";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Matrix";
+      target = "https://matrix.extremist.software";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Noisebell";
+      target = "https://noisebell.extremist.software";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Noisebell Discord";
+      target = "https://discord.noisebell.extremist.software";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Noisebell RSS";
+      target = "https://rss.noisebell.extremist.software";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Noisepics";
+      target = "https://noisepics.extremist.software";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Noisebridge Mailing List";
+      target = "https://lists.noisebridge.net";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Noisebridge Safespace";
+      target = "https://safespace.noisebridge.net";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Noisebridge Library";
+      target = "https://library.noisebridge.net";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Noisebridge Electronic Parts";
+      target = "https://parts.noisebridge.net";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Noisebridge Auth";
+      target = "https://auth.noisebridge.net";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Noisebridge Grafana";
+      target = "https://grafana.noisebridge.net";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Noisebridge Prometheus";
+      target = "https://prometheus.noisebridge.net";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "jetpham.com";
+      target = "https://jetpham.com";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "m3.noisebridge.net";
+      target = "https://m3.noisebridge.net";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "m5.noisebridge.net";
+      target = "https://m5.noisebridge.net";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "m6.noisebridge.net";
+      target = "https://m6.noisebridge.net";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "m7.noisebridge.net";
+      target = "https://m7.noisebridge.net";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Gitcafe";
+      target = "https://app.gitcafe.dev";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Github";
+      target = "https://github.com/";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Gitlab";
+      target = "https://gitlab.com";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "git.paperclover.net";
+      target = "https://git.paperclover.net/clo";
+    }
+  ];
+
+  http600Monitors = [
+    {
+      name = "Noisebridge Wiki";
+      target = "https://www.noisebridge.net/";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "noisebridge.org";
+      target = "https://www.noisebridge.org";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "noisebridge.io";
+      target = "https://noisebridge.io";
+    }
+  ];
+
+  tcp60Monitors = [
+    {
+      name = "SMTP (Standard)";
+      target = "extremist.software:25";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "SMTPS (Secure)";
+      target = "extremist.software:465";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Submission";
+      target = "mail.extremist.software:587";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "IMAPS (Secure)";
+      target = "extremist.software:993";
+    }
+    {
+      name = "Noisebridge Mailing list SMTP";
+      target = "lists.noisebridge.net:25";
+    }
+  ];
+
+  icmp60Monitors = [
+    {
+      name = "extremist.software ping";
+      target = "extremist.software";
+    }
+  ];
+in
+{
+  services.prometheus.exporters.blackbox = {
+    enable = true;
+    listenAddress = "127.0.0.1";
+    port = 9115;
+    configFile = blackboxConfig;
+  };
+
+  services.prometheus.scrapeConfigs = lib.mkAfter [
+    (mkBlackboxJob "blackbox-http-60s" "http_2xx" "60s" http60Monitors)
+    (mkBlackboxJob "blackbox-http-600s" "http_2xx" "600s" http600Monitors)
+    (mkBlackboxJob "blackbox-tcp-60s" "tcp_connect" "60s" tcp60Monitors)
+    (mkBlackboxJob "blackbox-icmp-60s" "icmp" "60s" icmp60Monitors)
+  ];
+}
diff --git a/modules/caddy.nix b/modules/caddy.nix
index 7af168e..afb852d 100644
--- a/modules/caddy.nix
+++ b/modules/caddy.nix
@@ -112,7 +112,7 @@
               window 1m
             }
           }
-          reverse_proxy localhost:4001
+          redir https://status.extremist.software{uri}
         '';
       };
 
diff --git a/modules/uptime-kuma.nix b/modules/uptime-kuma.nix
deleted file mode 100644
index 8ae0d6f..0000000
--- a/modules/uptime-kuma.nix
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,11 +0,0 @@
-{ config, pkgs, ... }:
-
-{
-  services.uptime-kuma = {
-    enable = true;
-    settings = {
-      PORT = "4001";
-      HOST = "127.0.0.1";
-    };
-  };
-}